Sunday, September 14, 2014

What's in a name? Try Kim! Or, how about Venkataramasubramanian?

One of the many practical issues that a global village idiot like me has to deal with as we move away from the cultures and traditions in which we were raised is this: from reading a name, how do we know whether it is male or female?

I laugh now thinking about the months and years when I continued to be fresh-off-the-boat.  But, it was not easy then and was quite stressful.

The first was with a Kim.  As a political junkie, I had known that Kim is a common Korean last name.  But then there was also Kim Bassinger; how could a young man forget this Kim!  Yet, I was stumped when I had to address an application for financial support to a Kim "lastname."  I checked with my professor, Jim.  He politely said something like "I think it is a female and you might want to use Ms."

Years later, here in Oregon, as is my practice, I scanned through the rosters before the first day of classes, to check for any familiar names of students I might have had before and for names that could potentially stump me.  I walked into one of the classes and as they introduced myself I was checking off the names in my printout.  It turned out that the student with the name "Kym" was male!

Over the years, I have learnt to be careful with Robin and Pat and Taylor and Jordan--one can never assume the gender with those names.  But, these days life is getting more and more complicated as parents aim for creative names and spellings for their children.  There was a Michael, but a female student.

I have never had to wonder what people in an alien culture might think about names like mine.  I experienced that right from my first day in this adopted country of mine.

I do miss some old names.  A favorite from the old country was the multi-syllable Sivaramakrishnan.  In graduate school, my adviser once gave me a copy of a book authored by a Sivaramakrishnan and told me that he was not even going to attempt pronouncing the name.  He knew the author was a guy because of the bio on the book jacket!

Growing up in India, I was fascinated by a name: Zbigniew Brzezinski.  Now, with that kind of a name, it really does not matter if a male or a female answered the call--you just don't mess with a person walking around with that name and it is simply "Yes, ma'am. Uh, yes, sir. Uh, sorry. Yes!"

BTW, why so many Kims in Korea--like the recent golf winner Kim Hyo-Joo? (Quick, do you know if the name Kim Hyo-Joo is of a male or a female?  Keep in mind that the surname comes first.)
As in many other parts of the world, surnames were a rarity until the late Joseon dynasty (1392-1910). They remained the privilege of royals and a few aristocrats (yangban) only. Slaves and outcasts such as butchers, shamans and prostitutes, but also artisans, traders and monks, did not have the luxury of a family name. ... The stranger, in turn, acquired a noble surname.
As family names such as Lee and Kim were among those used by royalty in ancient Korea, they were preferred by provincial elites and, later, commoners when plumping for a last name.
What an interesting life I have lived, and you have also lived, so far away from our respective old traditions, right?

Thus ends the blog-post by this writer who was once formally referred to, during the ritualistic Hindu Brahminical ceremonies, as Venkataramasubramanian, which is definitely a testosterone-filled manly man's name! ;)


4 comments:

Ramesh said...

Ha Ha ha Mr Venkatramasubramaniam . Please recite Abivadiye with the correct "Sharma" OK ?? Or else !!!!!!!!

The East Asian races are mainly gender neutral in their names. At least the Chinese and Koreans are. So you simply cannot identify the gender from the name.

But the cruel joke parents play on children is to give a blatantly male name to a female and vice versa in cultures where you can easily distinguish genders from names. Imagine the plight of Hema Prabhu (a male), Renukaradhya (a male), Krishna (a female), and the like. Or how about Ardhanariswaran - common name in South India which means half female half male.

Anne in Salem said...

Growing up Catholic, most people I knew were given a saint's name as a first name. Everyone knew whether a person was a boy or a girl by the name. I never understood why a person on the phone would ask my gender when I gave my name. Seemed utterly obvious to me - Anne is a girl.

As I got older and expanded my circle of acquaintance and as parents became more creative (cruel?), I understood the gender question more. I coached both male and female Jordans at the same time. But it is not just parental creativity. Leslie used to be a man's name (Leslie Howard) but is far more female now. I suppose that shift could be traced back to a parent naming a girl after Uncle Leslie and hoping she wouldn't be teased mercilessly. Name sharing across genders could have roots in families memorializing the past via the future generations.

My kids have family names that are saint names. They are very traditional male and female names, spelled in the traditional manner, or so I think. I haven't met a male Elizabeth or a female Andrew, but perhaps they are not far off.

Sriram Khé said...

Oh well, my post and your comments confirm that we are all old, old fogeys! ;)

Krishna for a female is not new actually ... My father's grandmother was Krishna. So, of course, a couple of granddaughters were named Krishna as well. When one got married, the in-laws were so displeased with Krishna as their DIL's name they changed it. Yep, she is no longer Krishna. And this was merely about 40 years ago!!!

Ah, you forget a Leslie that is a favorite of people like me who love slapstick comedies done well ... Leslie Nielsen ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixljWVyPby0

Anne in Salem said...

Speak for yourself, old fogey!! Remember, I am younger than you (and have many more brown hairs than you). Though I frustrate my kids no end with my insistence on being "old school."