Friday, September 13, 2013

Snoopy on my introverted happy life! No, not the NSA snoopy ;)


My father once commented that I have an ashram in Oregon.  I reminded him that years ago a person from India with a beard made quite some noise in an ashram in Oregon and that, therefore, we need to underplay the ashram description.  A friend wrote not too long ago that I am a hermit blogger.

But then when one reviews the blog posts and find that I delight in small talk, well, wouldn't that contradict the image of a loner, a hermit, in an ashram?  I suppose it is a reflection of the mix of introvert and extrovert within each that then plays out differently.
Even Jung didn't think people could be completely introverted or extroverted. "There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert," he reportedly said. "Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum."
The stereotypical view is that serious thinkers are introverted, and that extroverts are often flaky.  But then, mirror, mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the happiest of them all?
Extroverts, those outgoing, gregarious types who wear their personalities on their sleeve, are generally happier, studies show. Some research also has found that introverts, who are more withdrawn in nature, will feel a greater sense of happiness if they act extroverted.
I like that phrasing: "if they act extroverted."
"If you're introverted and act extroverted, you will be happier. It doesn't matter who you are, it's all about what you do," said William Fleeson, a psychology professor at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C
I like to think that I have hit the jackpot then.  All my small talk and kidding around is like that of an extrovert, when in reality I like to crawl into my shelter and stay put and think and blog.  Awesome. See, even this is an extroverted emotion from an introvert ;)
"We live in a culture that very much subscribes to the extrovert ideal of being bold and assertive," said Susan Cain, a former corporate lawyer who wrote a book last year called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," which argues that introverts are unfairly maligned. Rather than trying to get introverts to act more extroverted, she argues that society should be drawing on their natural strengths, which can include being a good listener and working creatively.
That extrovert cultural version of the bold and the assertive is also one that easily leads to the Bullshit culture that we have all around us.  We need to somehow get the idea across being quiet and listening and saying "I don't know" are also good qualities. Right?



2 comments:

Ramesh said...

Of course those are good qualities and its a complete myth that only the extrovert is valued. In fact I'll question the premise that the introvert will be happier when acting as an extrovert. BS!

As you observe there is no unidimensional introvert or extrovert. Each of us lives at some pint on this scale. If we are happy and comfortable where we are, nothing else matters

I know you are; so inhabit neither an ashram nor a party joint. You are just what you are and may that be so forever.

Sriram Khé said...

Yes, happy with where and who we are. A little bit of partying might help though ;)

At the reunion, when old classmates were impressed that I could more than small talk because they thought I was "shy" back in the day, I was so keen on explaining to them the difference between shy and introverted ... but, don't worry, I didn't lecture them on that ;)